I have so many people to thank for prayers, phone calls, flowers, cards, e-mails, and text messages recently. All of the words of kindness and encouragement have helped me more than you know. I really do appreciate the thoughts, well-wishes, and prayers, and I am remembering each one of you each day, and I'm thanking God for each of you. God has brought a variety of people into my life, and each one has filled a different need of love, kindness, friendship, and encouragement. When I look back on the things that have taken place in the last few months, I can see so many times when God's loving hand of mercy has reached out to me and brought comfort and peace. There's a lot of uncertainty in life and that has always been something that I don't like. I like to know what's going to happen so that I can be ready and prepared before hand. But, unfortunately, life just happens sometimes without warning. It's during those times that I usually fail to remember everything I have learned and I fall into a pit of fear. I have really been experiencing fear lately, and I can easily live in a complete state of fear which is paralyzing and self-indulgent. But God continues to remind me through His word and through my circumstances and friends and family that He is in control, and that no matter what happens, I can fully trust Him to take care of everything in His way and in His timing. Of course it is a process of me releasing each day to Him all of the fear and uncertainty and resting in His peace, knowing that God is still in control and I shouldn't worry. So, I'm trying to remain in a state of Thankfulness for all things.
Well, on Wednesday of this week I had a consultation appointment with Dr. Hershey Garner, an Oncology Radiologist. First of all I went there with the attitude of "we'll see" and not wanting to be there. You see, I'm very skeptical about radiation treatment and whether or not it works. So, I came out of the appointment undecided and ready to do just about anything else but radiation. Then, after I got home and was feeling pretty good about myself and not doing radiation, the nurse from Dr. Cross's office called. She wanted to know how my appointment went, and she wanted to tell me that Dr. Cross had received my new "amended" diagnosis. After the surgery, the pathology report included a "comment" at the bottom that said they had to send off the tissue for further study and the report would be amended at a later time. But, I had thought that since 3 weeks had passed, that probably everything was still the same. Well, Kristin, Dr. Cross's nurse was on the phone now telling me that the diagnosis is not going to be the same. Previously the diagnosis was Ductal Carcinoma In Situ, No Invasion, Clear lymph nodes, clean margins. Now the diagnosis is has been changed to Pleomorphic Lobular Carcinoma In Situ with Apocrine features. Still No Invasion, still clear lymph nodes, and clean margins around the excisional site.The biggest change that Kristin was trying to tell me is that Dr. Cross wants me to do the Radiation treatments, and that it's not really an option to skip radiation anymore. Now, I don't know very much about this diagnosis. It is very similar to DCIS and so it will be treated in the same way. So, I will definitely be taking the radiation treatments. This past week I have already been "marked" for radiation and I should be starting with the treatments in about a week. I will continue to trust God that this is His plan for my life and He will walk through this time of fear and uncertainty with me and Fletcher, and He will see us through to the other side of the radiation treatments. These will last somewhere between 5 and 7 weeks. I'll update when I know more.
My life has quickly become a series of Dr. appointments. The next appointment is tomorrow when I will meet with Dr. Rosenfeld, another Oncologist, about whether or not to take a hormone blocking drug called Tamoxifen. I'm hoping that he will say that I don't have to do this, but I don't know yet. My ER was only 10% and PR was 0, so it may not help much, but on the otherhand, it might be preventative for the other side. We'll see...
Flowers and Treats!
Here are a few pictures of the flowers and edible gifts I have recently received!
1. From Aunt Cullyne, Cil and Charlane
2. From Amy
3. From Judy and Rick
4. From Rhonda and John
Matt and Meredyth